Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
