I think I died a long time ago.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
