Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
