i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
