Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Are my feet made of real feet?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
