their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Randomize
