someone get that fucking seahorse.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
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