He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
