Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
