did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Randomize
