Rock
Scissors
Fuck
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
