I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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