he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
