So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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