like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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