Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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