We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
