Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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