you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
