Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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