I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
