I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
