oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
