wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Randomize
