So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Someone came in the potted fern
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
