if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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