this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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