Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
