i always forget guys have bellybuttons
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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