Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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