I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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