I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
