imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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