I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
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