Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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