Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
You made out with two different species that night
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
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