Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
NoShamevember. You game?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
