**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
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Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
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But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.