she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I don't deserve a penis
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..