I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.