A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...