i think my mom watched the whole time
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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