Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial

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  (480): I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial http://tfl.nu/135m
  Replies (7) Good night (1325) Bad night (939)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning

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  (347): i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning http://tfl.nu/jabd
  Replies (13) Good night (4239) Bad night (656)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.

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  (415): this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning. http://tfl.nu/tkiv
  Replies (11) Good night (3946) Bad night (943)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  I've ID'd the nipple biter.

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  (907): I've ID'd the nipple biter. http://tfl.nu/u45n
  Replies (6) Good night (2236) Bad night (1383)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.

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  (206): Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year. http://tfl.nu/cw7s
  Replies (2) Good night (3723) Bad night (884)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.

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  (816): I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions. http://tfl.nu/d3ti
  Replies (10) Good night (2349) Bad night (676)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...

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  (903): I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair... http://tfl.nu/9cft
  Replies (17) Good night (1028) Bad night (2056)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS

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  (717): Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS http://tfl.nu/pbtw
  Replies (19) Good night (1076) Bad night (2232)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.

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  (316): This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python. http://tfl.nu/dk7h
  Replies (20) Good night (2470) Bad night (622)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING

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  (931): THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING http://tfl.nu/7m50
  Replies (29) Good night (4051) Bad night (978)
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off

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  (219): he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off http://tfl.nu/kmmo
  Replies (10) Good night (1208) Bad night (366)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there

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  (775): He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there http://tfl.nu/7cfh
  Replies (8) Good night (873) Bad night (370)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions

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  (909): Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions http://tfl.nu/1fmr
  Replies (6) Good night (685) Bad night (374)
• Favorite

  (254): View more from Texas

  We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.

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  (254): We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans. http://tfl.nu/t9r6
  Replies (5) Good night (791) Bad night (258)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed

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  (306): I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed http://tfl.nu/ufxs
  Replies (1) Good night (461) Bad night (241)

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