dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
These tits shall not be calmed
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
