Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight