Don't you send me to vm
Will you blow on my dice?
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist