so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize