I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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