You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Randomize
