Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
