I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
