I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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