Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
