It's like a parade of train wrecks.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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