I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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