All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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