I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
