Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
