Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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