i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
