he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Rumble strips road head = magical
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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