We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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