Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
