wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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