Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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