can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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