Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
