So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
