I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
